Parody Adventure!
by Icewalker220
Summary: i was going to have prof Oak and gary in all my chapters but i thought, just fuck it. then i put some random shit in there. full of main characters, minor characters, and funny random adventure! :DDD
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own pokemon, if I did, it would be full of fucked up stuff and sexual innuendo's. so no, I don't own Pokemon. Also this story is slightly parody-ish, so watch out for. I also don't own any references either.**

We start our story today on a early morning's day, (like around what, 9:00AM) at a young scientists house, also known as Gary motherfucking Oak's house, also Ash and his friends live there too. Anyways he was watching the Telly (flatscreen), and drinking tea (soda in his case) and eating pancakes with a side of crumpets (eggs, once again in his case).

Telly (T.V.) "What do you get when you get a bowl, stuff a fuck-shit load of eggs in it?! PENIS!" *echo*

Well, nevermind the telly, but Gary just dropped his plate and got some combee syrup all over his purple shirt, and yelled like a bitch, and woke everyone up.

Misty: "what the FUCK is going on god DAMMIT! I was trying to FUCKING sleep, but you lil' shit woke me UP!"

Brock: " Uggghhhhh… Seriously Gary? Why couldn't you just wait to be a bitch later on in the day!"

Ash: " Pokemon! Go!"

While this is all going on, Gary (Motherfucking) Oak, was slouching on his couch, and was trying to make all this go away, but I'm the author so really, he can't do anything. Ha, bitch. Ha, torture. While all the others were rambling on about stuff, going from tampons, to chickens, they stopped after a while (like, 13-20 minutes) and went downstairs to eat breakfast. (Wait, did I not mention an upstairs, oh, well too bad, also Max's age is 15 and the others haven't changed at all. Why you ask? Because fuck you, and continuity, that's why :P)

Soon, everyone was downstairs, eating breakfast, while Brock was washing the clothes, doing the dishes, making the beds, fluffing the pillows, giving me more reasons for more words, making sure the blankets were soft, and making sure that there wasn't any imperfections, with the help of sudowoodo, and then went to get some girls, but failing, or maybe not, just depends on what my sick sadistic mind puts. :P.

Gary got some new clothes on, because you ruin a shirt, you ruin everything, and came back wearing what I would wear, (you know something stylish :P) a black shirt saying Fuck You Bitch, a red plaid button-up over the shirt, dark black-ish jeans, white fancy shoes, a denim shirt with no sleeves over the button-up shirt. Yeah, that stuff. Also I don't want to bore you guys with all the details so ima shorten it, Ash was wearing his Kanto stuff, Misty was wearing her usually slutty outfit, Max was wearing jeans and a white shirt, Brock was wearing the usual.

(couldn't think right now so here.) Telly: "have you ever wanted some money? Yeah, well me too, go fuck yourself."

Max: " Huh, well that escalated quickly."

Misty: " Well we didn't ask for your opinion you lil' SHIT!"

Gary: "Stop yellin' at Max dammit!"

Misty: "Well, looks like syrup-bitch just got some more syrup on his shirt!"

Max: "I'm going upstairs to play Legend of Zelda for the SNES."

While Max goes upstairs Ash goes to follow Max and goes to his room to play LOZ. (but he can't cuz he's stupid and also it's single-player so HA! Bitch.)

Max: "I told you it's Single-Player! For the last time! You're stupid! *Pikachu farts*

Ash: "Yeah you tell him Pikachu!"

Max: "Ughh, you're stupid."

So Max goes off to play LOZ, while Ash just watches Pikachu fart over and over. Stupid idiot.

Also Gary (Motherfucking) Oak is off with his grandad, and is are exploring a cave.

-so we're switching to the cave cuz im fucking bored.-

When Gary and Oak were in the cav, the entrance was got blocked.

With the cave entrance blocked, Gary and his forgetful grandad, who's now trying to get Gary to stop being so god damn loud cuz they could die, and Gary is being a ass-sucking bitch, playing with his pokedex and scanning useless pokemans and just being annoying.

Prof. Oak: "God dammit! Stop with the FUCKING Pokedex, you're going to wake up all the pokemon! You dumbass!"

Gary: "Sorry."

Oak: "shhhh!"

Gary: "Ohh look! A Zubat!" Pokedex: "Zubat the blind annoying pokemon, this pokemon will just be fucking annoying, and make your life fucking living hell."

Oak: "You fucking dumbass!"

Then thousands of zubats were everywhere, while Oak was trying to shoot the fuck out of them, Gary was being a bitch and was just crying in a corner, being a bitch. (here's something cuz im bored shit ass.)

Telly: "All you motherfuckers want some food, well then get some you lazy fatass cuz im not getting it for ya. Bitch :P)

Then, Oak fell over, and being the dumbass he is, just realized he had pokemon in his pocket.

Oak: "Go! Venasaur!" Just then, Venasuar popped out and used leaf tornado to kill all the zubats, just then, as the author just didn't give a shit about logic or the fucking story, Venasuar sprouted wings and grabbed onto Oak and Gary, and flew off, into the clouds, past the heavens, into space and just in time to destroy a meteor, and save the Earth (which gave them a septillion dollars!, and yes Septillion, IS a number, it's like, waaaayyy more then sextillion which is like 6 whatevers. It's a lot of money ok! Trust me!) and landed on mars, killed some alien race, and went to Pluto, which for some reason is in a different universe, (fuck continuity!) where some guy was typing a story on the computer.

Gary: "What the fuck is this place? It looks like New Orleans!

Oak: "Gary!"

"What?"

"Too soon!"

?: "So, you've found my lair? Well, how could you without MY help?"

Oak: "The fuck is this guy!?"

Author: "I am the author." Just then, the sky grew dark and red-ish, and lightning bolts and volcanoes popped up from the ground! Shooting their red molting lava and shit!

Gary: "Why the fuck did that happen?" Gary asked, being a dumbass and not knowing that the Author, was NOT allowed to intervene with the story, so I'm breaking the Cosmic Space Authors Assembly League's rule.

Author: "Well child, let me tell you that you two assholes being here, is breaking the very fabric of this/other, fanfictions out there. You see, long ago, about when whatfucking ever some shit happened while Ganondorf was trying to kill Dumbass, and Sheik was taking a piss down the corridor to the left, and somehow, dumbass killed Ganondorf, and then Ganondorf came back to life cuz fuck continuity. The end."

Gary: "Hm, OK seems legit."

**Well, that ends first chapter of Pokemanz! I hope you liked it, it kinda took me a while so yeah! Also, I will be writing more Legend of Zelda: Links Misadventure's. So keep waiting folks :DD**


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own pokemon whatever or any references. Rated M for parody, cursing, and some other shit, I think you know what to expect. Also, if you're offended, I won't change anything, and then your flames will be used for roasting marshmallows.**

Today we are at Gary (Motherfucking) Oak's house and Gary is playing LOZ: Twilight Princess for the Wii (which was a gold Wii, with a black triforce on it), at the part where you gotta kill the giant dragon skull (Stallord), and use the useless spinner that you can't use it for anything else.

Gary:"Ok I just gotta do this last one thing then I complete the temple!" Gary said with much joyous excitement. But just then, the game paused and turned to a screen with a big ol' red WARNING on it. Gary:"Wha? Oh god, no no no no!"

Everyone knew if a game or anything had a big ol' WARNING on it, it can't be good. Gary read the words on the screen, 'WARNING if you continue, you will face dire consequences, if this happens to anyone playing the game, SHUT IT OFF ASAP!' Gary thought about for a moment to what would happen if he didn't stop.

Gary:"Well… I thought about it, time to kick some ass!" Just as Gary (Mutherfucking Arrogant) Oak, skipped the warning, and played the game as I waited to blow his Wii up.

Gary:"Wait, my Wii blew up, you really think that you can-"Just then, after he said that, his Wii blew up.

Gary:"NOOOOOoooo! How could you do such a thing?" Gary screamed to the infinite depths of the sky.

Ice:"Cuz I'm cold, cold as ice!"

Gary:"Why! Why would you make such a horrible pun!?"

Ice:"Because fuck you, that's why!"

After the little ordeal he had with the Author, Gary soon crawled up to his Wii, and had a moment of crying until his friend (Maybe his only friend), Blue walked up, who he apologized for how bad Gary had felt, and they both went outside, in the rain, to bury his Wii. Also I was there.

Gary:"It was so young!" and started crying. Blue tried to comfort him and I was doing what I would usually do, which was getting video, pictures, and audio for blackmail.

Ice:"Well I'm sorry for your loss of your Wii. One of my Wii's broke, which at the time had been dropped like, what, 6-8 times. Anyway, here's a coffee, and a Mc Donald's triple burger" (not even sure if they have those but whatever).

Then Ice vanished in DBZ style, but with more blue flare to it.

So Gary was on the ground, trying to remember their past together. Defeating dungeons, getting the Wii it's triforce on it, and getting it a black stand case thing, and buying it. After Gary's tearful moment, Blue went with Gary to get some Starbucks, which I was there, like I always am. Following the main character of the story plot, whether it's Ash, or a pokemon, I'll be there.

As the two walked through the door, I walked in with a quesarito (had a couple of bad looks, but I just pushed them aside), and sat down with Gary and Blue, while they were talking I munched down on my quesarito, it was wonderful, beef and chicken, along with some mild sauce perfectly wrapped around the meat and starch, to make the ultimate burrito! As I said that, I put the burrito over my head, then stopped and went back to eating.

While I was eating my food like I was born with the Flinstones, Gary and blue were giving me some looks as in 'wtf-are-you-doing' looks. I then calmed down and said, "Sorry, I just really like burritos." We then continued drinking (eating in my case) and once we were finished, Gary and Blue left me there, alone in a restaurant full of staring customers, to the angry employee's and the boss, I then had to leave cuz if I didn't they would've banned me from Starbucks and I CAN'T have that.

~Skipping to story two~

Ash was sitting on his bean-bag listening to the Pokemon league theme, thinking about how he could've gotten stronger if he had actually gotten to battle more people, catch more pokemon, and get the pokedex completed, but only Red and Blue had done that (which all of that he can still do cuz he's still 10). Just then his phone rang across the room, which not that many people had called him since his trip to Unova and Kalos (besides his friends), so he picked up the phone, and answered whoever the caller was.

Ash:"Whoever this is you're calling a minor so-"

Ice:"Hey Ash, this is important, come meet me at my lab."

Ash knew that Ice really doesn't call anyone, he just meets them in person, so Ash got up and asked Brock to drive him to Ice's lab, which was a few days long trip to Sinnoh.

Brock:"I still don't understand why you want me to drive you all the way to Sinnoh, besides you can only get there by plane or boat, which I don't have the money for either one of them! So your reason better be good!"

Ash:"Well all I know is that Ice called me while I was listening to some music and told me to go to his lab. That's all I know, honest."

Brock:"Well once we get there I'm going on break afterwards, walking and sitting all day long, I'll have to go to a chiropractor and it'll cost a LOT of money, also it's sundown and we need to hurry and find a motel."

-A Few Hours Later-

Once Brock and Ash got to the nearest motel, they needed to get gas so Brock put some gas in the car, they then went into a motel and got the rest they needed Ash got a call from one of Ice's assistants.

Assistant:"We put some money in your trainer account, use it to go to the plane, then head to Sinnoh, your halfway there." The assistant said kindly. As soon as Brock heard the news, (since there weren't any phone booths or whatever they call them there) Ash got on his Pokedex and accessed his account there, where he had about $300 which was enough the tickets they needed to get to Sinnoh from Kanto. They then got to the Airport where they had to wait in a line, and they finally got up there, Brock handed the person the money, got the ticket and waited 1 hour and finally got onto the plane.

Ash:"Are we there yet, it's taking forever!"

Brock:"Ash, we haven't even left the region yet so calm down-"

Pilot:"We are now leaving the region." Then the pilot started the whole 'safety speech.'

About four hours later the stewardess gave them all food to eat. About 5 hours later, they were almost to their destination. 3 hours later the two arrived at their destination, Sinnoh. As they got off they collected their things, and rented a car, drove to the destination they got on their map on the gps they got offscreen and went into the mountains.

Ash:" It's cold, and why do we have to be in the mountains!"

Brock:"Because that's the coordinates."

As they were walking, now in front of their destination. As soon as they got to the front, the doors to a hidden lab were opened, showing a huge lab that was as big as 23 football fields. Ice could see the determination in Ash's eye's and Brock's annoyance in his.

Ash:"So what did you want us to do?"

Brock:"This better be worth it because I had to drive poketard here to come here, and it was a pain."

Ice:"Well, I needed your help on testing out this new drink I made, it's called, Eggnog coffee and it tastes good, so I need you guys to drink it."

Ash and Brock both stared at Ice with a deep anger, a anger that will go away after they had the awesome eggnog. So they both drank the eggnog and then Ice sent them home, and had Brock get to a chiropractor.

~Story Three~

Prof. Oak was sitting on his couch, with a bottle of scotch, trying to get out of a depression all because his sandwich was gone, and it was one of those kinda of sandwiches that you just make and then boom! They taste delicious, but Oak wasn't known to let things go so easily, so what he does every time he loses something, he gets a few bottles of scotch and watches people fail, because he knows he's better than them. Oak went up to get some more scotch from the refrigerator because if it's cold, there's no mold. So the sad professor got up and went to get some more, when he got back the show ended, so he just went over to his grandson's house, because he can make fun of him there.

When Oak got to Gary's house he got stopped by a gate with a password, he punched in the password and went in, he then walked up to the door and just opened it, went in, and annoyed the fuck out of Gary.

Oak:"Nag nag nag floor's ugly, nag nag apple pie, nag nag smells like shit, nag nag what the hell is a tampon doing on the floor nag." As Prof. Oak continued his nagging spree, Gary was just standing there about to go crazy, and he snapped.

Gary:"Get the fuck out."

Oak:"How could you talk to your grandfather that way?"

Gary:"Because you're being a bitch, now get out."

Oak:"I'm taking you to get a vacation, you've been doing nothing but playing legend of Twitter on your hooziwatsits."

Gary:"First of all, its legend of Zelda, second, it's a Nintendo 64, and lastly, what you talkin 'bout, I don' need no vacation?!"

Oak:"Just com'on stupid! Off to D.C.!"

The two got into Oak's car, and traveled to the Airport, got stuck in security and had to wait 3 hours.

Oak:"Fucking shit! It was just a damn pokeball, but apparently, they don't allow pokeballs out of Japan!"

Gary:"Ok, so first of all, there are no pokemon in America, and pokemon are just found in Japan, China and half of Asia."

Oak:"Well I still don't get why they strip searched us."

Gary:"Well, it was probably the fact that you had gun, some chains, and a bullet proof vest!"

Oak:"Well it's not my fault; you know how Americans are like!"

Gary:"What? That's offensive!"

Oak:"It's true! They always ask me to show them my damn pokemon, and then they ask if I've been getting arrested because I had a gun pointed at their head, then they called the cops! People today are so stupid."

Gary is just speechless when his asshole granddad just finished what he was saying, and why the hell did he have a gun pointed at their head? While Gary just stood there, amazed at how stupid and ignorant his granddad was, Oak was talking to some security guards on how he became the greatest at annoying people. (It was a realllly long speech; you don't want to hear it).

So Gary and Oak finally got past the airport, and finally got to a vacation spot at D.C, they went to a fancy hotel, got their card, and got drunk. They also had a huge party, there were people all around the hotel, they were all jamming to a song on a very loud stereo and people were getting drunk as hell, soon everyone went to sleep, or just knocked out because of the party.

When Gary and Oak woke up, He saw many things that scared him on a very emotional level. He saw alcohol ever where, people just lying on the floor.

Some people even had some strange mask on from another party, there was loads of everything messed up, the rugs and the couch was torn up, the blinds were ripped and the fridge was open, giving off a cold feel in the room, also someone made lots of food, which was actually pretty good.

Gary had gotten a huge headache, probably from the hangover; he somehow got up, and tried not to barf, but failed and got barf on his shirt and new shoes.

Gary:"Fuck. It's gonna take weeks to get this shit off." Gary mumbled to himself angrily. As soon as Gary got up, people started leaving, having wanted nothing to do with the VERY fucked up apartment, they all went as they came. When they all left (coincidently) the cleaning people came up, and yelled at Gary, and slapped him in the face, took a 200 off the table from some random guy, and started cleaning.

Oak soon got up, and started yelling at Gary for what happened, even though most of it was his fault.

Oak:"Why the FUCK did you let all those people come here, you stupid dumbass. Ugh, this is like that time when I got my first car, shit happened."

Gary:"It was your fucking fault because you wanted them over, because you were lonely, and I told you not to and you took one of your 34 empty schotch bottles and smacked it over my head and told me to call all my friends, and then you took my phone before I could reach it and you called, and smashed it under your stanky trampy ass foot."

Oak just stood there, not knowing what to say, but he would've probably just smacked him over the head, which would just make Gary leave. He thougth about what to do, and waited a moment.

Oak:"Well, I thought about it…" Oak said, and smacked Gary (Motherfucking) Oak, across the face, which got the result in Gary smashing everything in the hotel, went to the lobby, put everything on Oak's bill, and left. So the regretfull not-so regretful Oak stand there with a faceless expression.

Oak:"Fuckin bitch."


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey wasup you mutherfuckers, I'm not dead! YAY!**

**I don't own Nintendo cuz if I did it wouldn't have the two abominations called black and white episodes and x y episodes. Enjoy you fucking bustards also I'm a start making Journal entries either to piss you guys off (not really) or give you guys some adventuring to find an order in the fucking story :D sorry guys :P**

**Ice's Journal Day: 123 plae ground stret**

Tonight at Gary (motherfucking) Oak's house, Ice was partying too hard at the local bar and the downtown suburban rave he conveniently went to, has now came home, shitfaced drunk, and I mean the wtf-have-you-been-drinking-drunk-omg-is-that-ecstasy-in-your-hand-drunk. Ice stumbled into Green's room (who was drinking a soda btw), trying to keep himself from falling, while his curfuzzled friend watched him fall, very worried of what he was doing that even got him into such a situation.

Ice: Hey man, you gotta try this ecstasy! It's FUCKING GREAT!

Green: Ok, I would normally love to try some of your weird crazy shit, buuuut this time I'm in rehab because of the all the other times you came in here with stuff ranging from guns, to the fucking grail.  
>I don't want to be a part of this. (Again for the umpteenth time because some fucking reason Green didn't get.)<p>

Ice: C'mon man, you got to try doing' it this time and stop being' a pussy. Red joined me, man he's fuckin' crazy!

Green spit out his cola and just stared at him, started choking on his cola, while stuttering gathering his thoughts, which was hard because this fucking bastard came in here high AND drunk shitfaced and being a loud bitch. Ice soon got bored of his stuttering and choking, and left him there and messed around with his room. Green soon found his words, stopped choking and said, "Wait what? Where the FUCK is he god damn it?!"

Ice: I don't know, the last time I saw him he was climbing up mount silver and was talking 'bout living up there! LOL, stupid bastard!

Green: Wait, WHAT?! He's on a mountain?

Ice: Yeah man, isn't it great!

NO it's not great, you know you've done some far more stupid crazy shit (that I've seen) but this is fucking insane!

Ice: Actually, remember that time I gave all my money to that one guy who gave me a bucket of ice cream? I got it all back and spent it all on drugs! :D

Green just looked at the fucking crazy bastard, took his fist and met it with his fucking face, knocked him out, and went up the mountain with Blue who was the only guy who knew were Red was (fucking stalking bitch) and took Green to where he was. The two colored names soon got up to the mountain to see other colored name guy.

Red: IMA LIVE ON THIS FUCKING MOUNTAIN AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME YOU FUCKING BASTARDS!11!

Green: Get the FUCK down from there!

Blue: Yeah you have so much to live for, and one of those things is NOT letting a Venasaur kill you!

Red: Yeah but there's no other way! I had to do it!

Green: Do WHAT?

Red: You wouldn't understand! Yellow got me into his fucking tween girly pop music! And I hate myself for listening!

Blue: Green, we need to get him some Metallica, it's the only way to get this soft shit music out of his fucking head.

Green then looked at blue like he was crazy as Ice and then looked back at Red, who now commanded his Venasaur to slap him in the face, and shove an ice cube down his shirt, which was stupid because it's cold but, he's on crack.

Green was really weighing his options if he should help him, or just go to Canada, but Red was his friend, so he called Ash to do it. Because Ash is really stupid for unexplained reasons, we still can't find out why he is so stupid.

Green: Ash, I need you to get up here!

Ash/dumbass2: APPLEZ!

As soon as Ash got there he handed Green Ice's Boom box and put the Metallica cassette in and played it really loud.

Red: Holy shit-balls-fuck-face is that Metallica! Venasaur stop this shit!

Venasaur then stopped killing Red, and Red finally snapped out of his Drug High, (for some random reason I don't wanna get into) and thanked Blue and Green for helping him.

They soon got back to the house, and Red went back to sleep because he's still kind of high and wants to get out of the high, Blue went back to his room to watch the Telly, and Green went to do whatever the fuck he was doing. While everyone was doing their normal thing, but, where's Ash? Well to summarize he's walking down the street and just passed their house, and is just wandering somewhere.

**Ice's Journal Day: 134 Minor Appearances**

Ice, Ash, and Youngster Joey went on an adventure. They went to the Indigo Plateau to watch the big fight between Wilkstrom of the Kalos Region and Drake from Hoenn. Wilkstrom sent out his first Pokémon, Klefki… everyone in the audience just looked confused why he would send that key ring out.

Drake then sent out Kingdra, who then just stared at the key ring Pokémon, who now was staring back and forth to Wilkstrom and the key ring. Shocked as to why the hell he would use a key ring, the water/dragon Pokémon didn't judge and was ready to win this short termed battle.

Drake: Kingdra! Use Waterfall! Kingdra followed Drake's command and hit klefki right on, it was a critical hit! But, something wasn't right. Just then the small key ring stabbed/hit the poor unaware Kingdra in the back and knocked it out.

The crowd was silent, except for one asshole who couldn't keep his mouth shut.

Ice: OK that's fucking bullshit! It's a fucking key ring, a god damn key ring! This shit is fucking played out, like some sort of game (lol)!

The two Elite Four members then kicked the three of them out, and gave Youngster Joey a hug (poor Joey he really needs one) and a better Pokémon, a Pokémon strategy book, and some insight with a side of education.

Joey then got bored and was hungry.

Joey: I'm bored, let's go get some ice cream!

Ash: Yeah!

Ice: ugh, fine whatever I don't give a fuck lets go.

So the three went and got some ice cream and started walking somewhere.

Ice: I think this ice cream has some PCP in it.

Ash: What's PCP? Is it a new Pokémon?

Joey: PCP is a drug that will fuck you up.

Ash then started crying uncontrollably (probably the PCP), and the other two then went off and just went somewhere.

Ice was found at a middle school because he wanted to act like a guy from the 80's wearing black leather and his brown hair all greased up and maybe did some cussing and got a detention, where he now stays as the badest guy in school who's 18 years old. He was then found at some girls house with a black painted custom designed 80's mustang with flames on it, drugged up and captured in some crazy person's house. The police then found him and the crazy girl went to jail, and Ice stopped being a 80's prick, and went back to being a random person he normally was. (He was at the school for only 10 minutes btw.)

Youngster Joey was last seen using his new strategy book and new found education with a side of insight, he then became the champion of Kanto and got beat by some guy who couldn't talk wearing a red jacket and yellow shorts. Joey still went to the meetings with the other famous people of the world, but still gets laughed at that he was beat by some random 10 year old.

Ash/dumbass2 was last seen with Max stealing candy and crafting products from a corner store, when their moms found them they were seen smoking smarties, snorting pixie sticks, and eating glue and lipstick. They were both grounded for 3 months and Max got a restraining order and can't be in 10-23 feet near Ash/dumbass2.

Max then moved to Canada and is now a happy Canadian that's finally away from "all those wackos he calls friends" and then spent his life on becoming the world's greatest human dictionary and hockey player.

Ash then got out of being grounded and can't get in 30 feet of any corner store or regular store without his mom with him, and became the without his mom there. He also became the world's first 10 year old delinquent who acts like a 2nd grader. Scientists are still trying to figure out what the fuck is wrong with him.

Youngster Joey and Ice then went to another tournament, this time they went to the one in Texas, because they were banned from Nevada, completely. They also met Barry, which Ice then made a very best friend that day too

The three soon went their separate ways, Barry went back to Sinnoh to go home and see his friends and buy more coffee and caffeine products, and Youngster joey back with his new Pokémon and insight with a side of education, and Ice back to where ever the fuck he goes to. (Probably because a house with the other authors that will soon be a part of this story.) (NO promises.)

**Ice's Journal Day: 122 Getting in some deep ass shit.**

At dusk, we find Ice on a train with a hobo named Bob and some drugs he was hiding from our poor crazy author.

Ice: Hey Hobo Bob, what're ya doing there?

Hobo Bob: Oh, I'm just smokin' a cigarette, ya want some?

Ice: Sure. He said, not knowing the fucking shit he was going to get into.

Hobo Bob gave Ice the 'cigarette' and watched his poor victim start smoking the gateway he was now hogging to himself because he was high.

Hobo Bob then light another batch because he was having a withdrawal and needed some shit. The two talked for hours about life and how fucked up the world is if you actually think about.

Hobo Bob: Well, the trains stopping and I gotta get off.

Ice: Why? Can't you stay longer?

Hobo Bob: Nope, I gotta try fixing the world man. See ya.

Hobo Bob then got off the train and was now going to go back to where his life started to go to hell, and fix it.

Ice was by himself now, he didn't know where he was, but the only thing he knew was that he was maybe somewhere in Montana. Ice was soon getting off his high and was starting to think more logically.

Ice then blacked out and was found on a sidewalk getting the fucking shit beat out of his unconscious body and stabbed, don't forget the stabbing, and was then taken to a hospital and was treated for gonorrhea and syphilis, got back home and was healthy again, and then went to Gary (motherfucking) Oak's house, went to a bar, got drunk shitfaced, and went to a suburban rave and took some ecstasy. Oh, yeah, and Red climbed up a mountain.

**Hey guys! I wrote some fucking hilarious shit so you can laugh your asses off to :D I hope you guys are still with me, cuz I'm still active kinda :DD**


	4. The randomness goes on!

**Hey it's me again, I just felt like fucking writing something today, just ta fucking do it. (for your entertainment of course) **

**Don't own Nintendo k, cool. I don't own Waffle House or any other references.**

**Ice's Journal Day: 342 Bad Day**

Ice's Bad Day

Today we are at some loser's house who's now trying to hack into Ice's computer

/hacking computer/

/hacking successful/

/loading files…/loading failed, try again/

/loading files…/loading completed/Opening files/

/opening 'Ice's '/

/opening Today we are at some loser's house who's now trying to hack into Ice's computer.

failed/computer locked/

Loser: DAMMIT! Why won't these fucking files oppeeeennn!

/entering password/password confirmed/opening computer and files/

Loser: Come onnn!

/password confirmed/opening files/

Loser: YESS! Now finally I can see why he's so successful!

Today we are at Gary (Mutherfucking) Oak's house early in the morning at 6:00 AM, Ice just woke up, and is now taking a shower, singing like a crazy bitch.

Ice: I Wanna Be, The Very Best, Like Now One Every WAASSSSS! DUH, DUH DUH DUH!

As Ice was singing trying to practice a career (which will never get done btw) starts to reach over to his toothbrush which is made by, the only brand he trusts and loves, -DerpShitBrandFasFace- the BEST brand for everything he owns in his room, his bathroom, and his closet and drawers. As he reaches for his toothpaste gel, he falls down and gets a little blood on his forehead from smashing into the marble table.

(It's a pretty big bathroom btw). He soon gets up, cleans his forehead and puts a Band-Aid on it, and reaches for the toothpaste gel again, this time to be interrupted by a phone call, just when he reaches for the toothpaste gel.

Ice: DAMMIT! Why can't I just fucking brush my own dam teeth!

Ice picks up the phone and got a call from non-other then-

Gary: ICEE! Yellow is being a winy bitch and won't stop getting mad at his fucking video game, get down here dammit!

Ice: WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE, I GOT A PHONE CALL!

Ice then picks up the phone (finally) and the call is from non-other than-

Misty pops up from the side of nowhere and yells at Ice.

Misty: BLAH HU GA JU GA GA HACK!

Ice: NO! *punches misty in the face*

Ice tries to reach for the phone again, but gets punched in the face by a very drunken Brock with boxing gloves on.

Brock: Common you fucking pussy let's fucking fight, ima beat the fucking SHIT outta your white ass!

Ice: Brock what the FYUCK are you doing!

Boxing Champion b. Timmy Rock: I'm gunna punch ya to the ground, then TR gunna punch you in the spleen and win the championship! Brock said in a wrestling type way.

Ice then avoided two or three punches from b. Timmy Rock and ran out the house, leaving said un-answered phone behind, running across Kanto.

The first place were b. Timmy Rock was starting to get really tired at a conveniently places Waffle House, so the two went in to get some waffles, and Ice got a plate of pancakes with a side of insight and education.(yeah, thought you wouldn't hear THAT one again!)

Rock Fan: Holy SHIET! It's b. Timmy Rock! Can I have your autograph! The young fan said with a smile so big and happy on his face it could make someone with HIV get healthy.

b. Timmy Rock: Sure, anything for the fans!

b. Timmy Rock gave the young, smiling grateful kid his autograph and gave him 50 dollars, which in response got a big hug from the kid and the kid ran off to who the fuck knows.

b. Timmy Rock: Stay away from drugs! Said the wrestling champion, who then took out some pot and started to smoke it, alongside PCP.

Ice soon got away from the creepy bastard and went to go get his phone, went inside his house to go upstairs to his room, but was stopped halfway up, stuck in the middle of his tracks and found himself stuck between a Pikachu and a very angry charizard, they both try to kill him but failing, Ice ran to his room.

Ice then locks himself in the bathroom, and finally receives the phone call from non-other than- Steven Stone, you know the champion from Ruby and Sapphire before Wallace.

Steven Stone: We need you at a meeting to discuss a very important meeting. The meeting will be held at the Kalos Pokemon League.

Ice: Ok, I'll be there as soon as I can.

Steven T. then hung up the phone and Ice rushed to get his best suit on. Ice went to the airport.

Ice Soon gets to Kalos, and being in only Kanto, Sinnoh, and Hoenn before, (yeah guys, you heard it right, this white boy is old school!) seeing Kalos for the first time in his life was awesome, and something about it seemed for things to look a bit more realistic then it already had, like it was all cleaner.

(no he's not in the games, I just made a cameo, and he looks like a anime guy cuz it's in the anime)

He landed at the Kalos League and soon got off.

Steven T.: Well it's about time you got here.

Ice: What's the important mission?

Steven T.: Ok so I need you- to go do the laundry.

Ice just stared at him with a vastly built up rage, he was called here to the Pokémon LEAGUE, to do some fuck asses' laundry. He was fucking furious. He punched all the gym leaders and elite four members in the face and left.

Ice was last seen destroying the League's dish washer and other household appliances, he was going to destroy the coffee maker, but since he basically worshiped coffee, he couldn't bring himself to do it. He then took their laundry and lit it on fire in front of them all, and laughed, then pissed on the burned pile of ashes. He was very proud of himself.

**Ice's Journal Day: 435 What Happened?**

What happened to the others?

Gary was sitting on his couch, watching some TV when he noticed his favorite show has changed. The change shocked him, it scared him, it totally fucking killed him, to see his favorite TV, Tom & Jerry turned into some kids paper cartoon, they changed the voices, the characters, and the way the characters were animated, it also made jerry look evil when he stomps on tom's foot.

Gary: Holy fucking shit! NOOO, WHY cartoon derpwork, whyyyyy… Gary said in complete and udder failure and sadness.

Blue: What the FUCK is going on!

Gary: Cartoon derpwork changed tom and jerry!

Just then before Blue could speak again, Gary left to go kill and torture, the cartoon derpwork studio.

Gary was last seen choking the fucking hell out of a director and then got thrown on jail for making a huge riot out of how the old was better than the new. Once he got out of jail, he got 321 billion dollars for getting the network deveopers to make a kids channel, where the shitty shows and specials will be seen, and another network where the old and great stuff were like, Adventure Dime, and Regular Know.

Blue was last seen buying a Xbox and in return, died immediately because Nintendo characters weren't allowed to play anything other then pc or Nintendo products but they can still play GTA V on the Wii u.

Yellow was last seen 5 months ago swimming on the road singing something about butterflies… he's been trying to get to the gumdrop kingdom of cloud land 7, but still couldn't find it. When they found him he was seen stuffed inside a mailbox saying, "I was trying to get the golden ticket, but instead I just got this letter from the government giving me welfare." He was then dragged out of the mailbox, and was placed in a mental institute (one of the good ones).

Youngster Joey, with his education with a side of insight, went off to graduate college and went to become the Pokémon master, he soon completed his goal until Red beat the shit out of him, and reclaimed his title.

Red: He just couldn't handle the responsibility of being the Pokémon master. As soon as red said that sentence, he was found behind a trashcan a few feet away, trying to be batman, he responded in, "GOD DAMMIT! LET ME BE FUCKINGF BATMAAANNN!"

Ice was last seen with hobo bob, as bob cut the ribbon to open his new business called, Empire Goods, where he sells everything you could imagine, and became the world's richest hobo.

Ash was last seen going to a preschool, and got a 20 minute time out for stealing a kid's toy train. He then responded by kicking the poor teacher at the knee, and ran off to a corner store to steal some pixie sticks. His mom soon came and took him to his room for a 6 month time out, took away his Pokémon cards and his favorite game Pokémon Yellow. He was found in his room, crying while playing Pokémon Crystal.

Gold was last seen in Kalos, got culture shock by how different everything was, he soon went to the airport to go back home, and went home to his mom, and cried tears of joy that he was back home.

**Hey guys, I hope you liked this one, I started working on it about last year, so a few months ago. But I couldn't upload it cuz I wasn't at my dads, so here I am you fukkers :D.**


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